Taking a (big) step back

"When you think about quitting, you've already quit." - John Madden

"I know it's time." - Brett Favre*

I’ve joked that I’ve been around racing since I could “pee in a pot,” nearly all of my 41 years on Earth. My earliest memories stem back from Mid-Continent Raceway (now Mid-Nebraska Speedway) in the mid-late 70’s. Back then I was a Late Model fan, and Clayton Petersen, Jr. was my favorite driver. I vaguely remember the sprint cars that occasionally frequented the track. When my family moved to Lincoln in the early 80’s, I remember a friend of my father’s being involved with a car and visiting Midwest Speedway, with the new “Modified” sprint class, which after some rules tweaking, later became the 360’s of today.

From there, my father - Dean Orth owned Sprint cars and, in varying capacities, I worked on the machines until the mid-90’s, my final year culminating in spending it on tour with the now-defunct NCRA Outlaw (410) series. Of course, we made many trips to Knoxville, Husets, and various World of Outlaws shows in between our NCRA schedule. It was a great experience.

Soon after my Dad, along with long time racing partner/client/friend Craig Cormack decided to go after the ownership of Eagle Raceway. I joined along working for the track, even after my father retired from the racing scene in ‘99, up until Cormack sold the track to Roger Hadan in 2005. From 2002-2005, I was a full-time employee of Eagle. It was my sole income, and a decent one for someone in their 30’s. I worked part-time for Roger in 2006, and decided to become a blogger/photographer that same year, and was on my own since then. This site was merely a hobby, which on occasion turned a little money - but my day-to-day income is outside of racing.

In 2010, my life took a different turn, with the birth of my son. I’ve been truly blessed. It’s a lot of work, but the rewards are incredible.

It’s said that family makes a different person out of you. That’s no lie. My daily outlook is very different, and sometimes those things that seemed important are now trivial. I don’t know if it is a physiological change, but the priorities in life don’t just fall down the ladder, the urgency fades away.

For years of my late teens to early 20’s, I was a big gun nut and hunter. Knew about anything there was to know about guns and fancied myself a pretty decent shot. I still think I could hold my own after about a hundred practice rounds. But, married life changed that, even when I lived out in the country and had a shooting range outside my own door...I just didn’t care that much. Still don’t. I’ll thumb through a gun magazine now and then at the bookstore, still read some occasional books - but I don’t shoot much and haven’t hunted for over 15 years.

Now, family needs the time I used to give to racing, and the passing of my mother in 2011 made me realize that with a young child and being a father at a relatively late age (some of my high school friends have kids in high school or have graduated), my time with my wife and son was limited, and was very important.

I’ve devoted a lot of my life to the sport. Short of driving, I’ve done it all. While it’s provided me with income, friends, fond memories and relationships that hopefully last the rest of my life, it also tore my family apart, and created animosity amongst long-time associates. Racing can consume one’s life. At times, it’s an important fabric of being, others it’s the bane of one’s existence. Sometimes, it’s difficult to tell the difference between the two.

To that end, I think it’s time for me to step back. Way back. In my post last season, I said that I would see how I felt come 2012. I've assessed my feelings. The excitement just isn't there the way it used to be. 

There are a lot of things I’m not really a fan of anymore: the back-gate nature of the show and the long time it takes to run it, the various drama (four of the top five threads on dirtdrivers.com this weekend were someone bitching one way or the other), and that I’ve taken my racing photography about as far as I wanted to go with it. What little time I have to shoot - and photography is my passion - I need to take that time elsewhere.

I'm still a motorsports fan - the vintage circuit is what piques my fancy these days, and now I've become that 'old guy' wishing for the good ol' days.

It’s hard to devote family time, with a young son and mother for something that isn’t lighting my fire anymore.

But despite all the things I have issue with, I’ll miss the people, some of whom I consider trusted friends. That’s the one thing that kept me coming back. I wish I could condense it into 3 hours instead of 8-10 hours on a Saturday.

So, for the first time in over thirty years, I don't have any connection to a car, track, media - I am just a simple fan now.

It doesn’t mean that I won’t be out at the track ever. It just will be much less frequent, maybe one to two times a month. I have to admit, that as long as Lincoln is still playing my new-found interest - Hockey - I’m committed to the Ice Box as my “Jason time.”

After that...I'm not sure. I may still shoot pictures on occasion, but it won't be just a bunch of cars going left all the time. I may blog about the times I go to the track, something that probably will have more meat than just another press release about an upcoming event. I’m not sure what to do with the site yet. I still own the domain and the hosting charges - so I’ll keep it alive. The photo galleries will move but I plan on doing some work to keep the site “simmering” for the time being.

I still enjoy a lot of the people in racing, and still want to maintain my relationships. There are people who still have the same passion for the sport as they did 10, 20, 40 years ago. There are the same stories being told to a new generation and the same memories being made for them.

I want to thank the people who’ve made racing so enjoyable these past years. I don’t want to name names, because there are SO many and I don’t want to be accused of putting the names in some order, missing anyone or slighting anybody. I just want to say there are dozens, if not hundreds and I think highly of ALL of them. True respect.

I hope to see you all at the track - it just may not be as often. 
 

Jason

*The Favre quote is a deliberate joke